With Dean Martin, Sammy Davis,
Jr. and Bing Crosby
Arranged By: Nelson Riddle – Nelson Riddle
Label: Reprise – Warner Brothers
Recorded: 4/10/64 – 11/14/63
-----------------------------------------------------------
(chorus) [the drunks] The rest
are solos.
Booze, Mister Booze (Mister
Booze), Mister Booze
Mister B double O, Z Eeee, (that
sure spells booze),
You will wind up wearing
tattered shoes if you mess with Mister Booze,
(Don't mess with Mister Booze,
don't mess with Mister Booze.)
Don't mess with B, double o, Z,
E, if you've been so simply occupied.
You'll feel better once you
testify, (testify, testify)
[I want to testify, I want to
testify]
Well, then cleanse yourself, my
child, cleanse yourself.
Brothers and sisters, I happen
to know this poor unfortunate soul,
And the fight she is waging
against sin,
That old devil Booze has changed
her
Into the unsightly person you
see before you.
Give us your testimony, my
child.
[Well, it all began with Johnny]
(Yeah?)
[He said drink helped him stay
alive] (Yeah?)
[Do you know how old he was when
he died?] (No)
[He was twenty-five] (No. no)
[That's why I gotta come clean]
(why?)
[Because I'm already seventeen]
Who's to blame? (Who's to blame?) What his name?
(We know his name, his name is.)
Mister Booze, Mister Booze,
Mister B, double O, Z, E,
Don't ever choose, any game you
play with him, you lose,
<So don't mess with Mister
Booze.>
If your head feels like it's two
miles wide,
You'll feel better once you
testify (testify, testify, testify)
[I want to testify, I want to
testify]
Well, come forward, dear
brother, come forward.
You see here, ladies and
gentlemen, a man who just last year
Was the United States Olympic
heavyweight wrestling champion,
Here he is, just a shadow of his
former self, wasted in health, ravaged by sin.
Oh give us your testimony, dear
brother.
[I was cruel and I was mean] he
was mean!
[I was a no-gooder, pickpocket]
(a no-good pickpocket)
[And then you see, sin got me in
its clutches now] sin got him in his clutches,
[No. I said sin was not...] Oh,
I didn't hear the first part
[And that's why I need
forgiving] (Why?)
['Cause my hands shake so much
now, I can't even make love]
That's a shame, (what a shame)
who's to blame? (Who's to blame?)
(Mister Booze, Mister Booze,
Mister B, double O, Z., E. what's with you?)
(You'll make the office dupe a
recluse, sister, if you dance with
Mister Booze.)
(If you prince with tiffless,
naughty guy,)
(You'll feel better when you
testify, testify, oh yeah, testify, oh yeah, testify)
[I wanna testify. I wanna testify.]
Ah but you don't have to. [oh
but I wanna] (oh let the bum testify!)
Okay, then put down that
demijohn and come up forward here,
And let us lead you on the path
of righteousness. Not long ago,
brothers and sisters,
This helpless soul was the
foremost brain surgeon in this grand and glorious country.
Success was smiling down upon
him.
Now go ahead and tell us your
story. Don't be shy.
[Let me tell. Let me tell. You
see I use spirits for medicinal purposes only] (Yeah)
[I manufacture it for medicinal
purposes only.] (yeah?)
[Then I started drinking what I
manufactured till I drank myself]
[Out of a hell of a business for
medicinal purposes only.] (That's right)
Now, alcohol makes a big man
small and can lead to life of crime.
Drinking rum makes you
skin-and-bone, and you cash in before your time.
Bootleg gin for your Mickey Finn
till you don't even know your name.
You're a basket case right on
your face, there's only one guy to blame.
(Oh Mister Booze, Mister Booze,
Mister B, double O, Z, E, don't ever queue,)
(Don't you wind up swearing
platitudes if you're mad with Mister Booze)
(Oh, Mister Booze, Don't mess,
mess with Mr. Booze.)
Don't mess with B, double O. Z,
E, cause that spells booze.
And you gotta lose with Mi-ister
Booze. (Oh Yeah).
Don't mess around with Mister
Booze.
(Don't with Mister Booze, Don't
with Mister Booze.)
(What's his name now, Oh Mister
Booze),
(Don't mess with Mister Booze), Oh Mister Booze, (Don't mess with Mister Booze.)